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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Banning Self Destructive Thinking

I fell into a nightmare when I read those words:

"Your application has been canceled."

One of those literally jaw dropping moments, that haunt you whenever you think about it. I had to sum up a shit load of effort just to keep myself settled.

It makes me sick to think about it.

Self-deserved pain is the worst pain to have.

It's when optimism cannot possibly come into play--when you know its 100% your fault--that you DESERVE to feel like shit.

And it was a new horror indeed.

Filled with dread, I walked up to father and told him the grave news.




"It's no big deal." he said

"..what?"

"It's like postponing a trip to Disneyland. We won't go this month--but we will go the next."

"...true."

"But you still should have been on top of it."

"I know."

Warn me if you ever go back in time. >.>

1 comment:

  1. "It's when optimism cannot possibly come into play--when you know its 100% your fault--that you DESERVE to feel like shit."

    You couldn't have explained it better.
    That's how I felt when I was grounded :/

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