Stream of Consciousness

I am blinded by the images.
--For how pretty they are
Those vibrant colored sketches
--Are the prettiest by far

With turns and sides that equalize
A balanced picture said
But little do my eyes tell me
Of the emptiness they've met

For as soon as I get close enough
The rainbow starts to melt
And as my hands are stained by them
I feel the worst I've felt

I can't believe I can't believe
What I'm seeing with my own eyes.
What's wrong with me?  What's wrong with me?
It's as if I'm seeing lies. 

Can I blame the media?
Can I blame the Lord?
Do I blame myself
For all the falsities I hoard? 

I spit "Fuck You's" to society
To how fucked up they've turned
An innocent perceptive sense
Into a blind-mind little worm

And even now I buy it--
I buy the color and the shape
I buy the lines and all the pieces
That make up the things I hate

I'm as shallow as a brook
I'm as empty as a shell
I can't change what way I see
As much as I can change the scents I smell

It's hopeless now, I'm done for
I hate this way I live
This test is getting far too old
What if I decided if...

If I didn't care anymore
And I drank the drops of rain
And though the drops might kill me
This thirst is driving me insane

I wonder...damn I wonder
If I gave in once or twice
Would Satan be a good friend
For the day and through the night?

Little by little I digress
It's as if I'm duly stuck
But I'm not like those fags who sit and chant
"I don't give fuck!"

Their apathy is conformity.
They sit with blanking stares.
They think that we're just organisms
Who fight and fuck like hares.

And now I've come to my real point
--I HATE my generation
I hate their crummy mindsets
And their failed retaliation

I hate their failing counter-culture
I hate their narcissism. 
I hate their ideologies
MY GOD, it's like a prison.

I hate their fucking attitudes
And cuts to drug life-lines
I hate their stupid would-be clothes
That brainwash all their minds

I hate the way they look at me
My peers are fucking tools
I hate the way they think the world
Is filled with only fools


I wish I could find someone
Who just might understand
But there's only one who knows it well
And he's typing with these hands

And though he's probably conceited
And snobby like his peers
He'll outgrow this bullshit even so
Like most young in coming years

And maybe I wont find someone
To hate me for who I am
To see all these little things
I do because I can...

To see that even though I hate
My peers from coast to coast
To tell me that I am hating because
I need help the most.

...
I am blind.