Lollygagging

So reality is catching up with me.

Right now I'm sitting down in my comfy computer chair with my homework folded up in front of me on my desk.  There's a little pumpkin sitting happily under my lamplight to my left.  And a mess of tangled chords ranging from ipod chargers to camera USBs on my right.  To my far left is a guitar I bought for the purpose of teaching this girl...that I thought was really cute how to ...uhm...play. 

Dammit.  Now we're on the subject again.  Look what you did descriptive writing!  You're ruining my somber stage of reflective prose. 

Okay so I might as well maintain this narrative flow of writing in stark contrast with my usual blog entries of vague poetic verses that attempt to describe yet hide my feelings.  Or something like that anyway.

I was suppose to teach her today but she didn't text me back so I found myself checking my phone every hour to see if she had texted me despite the fact that my phone was on vibrate and I would obviously know when such a thing would occur.  Okay maybe it was every 30 minutes.  Or was it 15 minutes?  Or was it every 5 minutes?  It was something like that anyway.

So today, I looked up the word "Obsession"  and I found this:

"a persistent preoccupation, idea, or feeling--"

Uh oh...BUT WAIT!---

"--is often associated with anxiety or a mental illness."  

Ah hah!  And I'm not anxious.  Or mentally ill.  ...I hope.  so that means I'm off the hook.  

 so then, I looked up the word "Infatuation"  and I found this:

"foolish or extravagant passion"  

FOOLISH? EXTRAVAGANT?  

No that's not me.  No way.  No way José.  

 I think I'm a fairly rational, ordinary guy. 

 It's interesting because I think I've reached a point where I don't know if I'm perpetuating some sort of state of denial or if perhaps I truly am bored with my entire concept of love/infatuation in general.  I think I'm slowly starting to lose ground somewhere.   But I don't know.  


Hmmmmmmmmm.....


What's the point of blogging...?


To expose yourself to a community of semi-apathetic individuals who probably don't care either way?  Is it to find solace in knowing that someone somewhere out there is reading what you wrote and saying to themselves:  "Oh this person exists."  and reaching some sort of state of contentment that helps you sleep at night?  I don't particularly know.  But I just know I can't say everything I want to say on this website.  I think I'm going to open up a microsoft word now.  Bye Blogger.