If I'm Not Learning, I'll Be Asleep.

About Fuckin' time Will Kid.

I know, so I haven't written in awhile and I let all you junkies surpass me with your super ultra mega blog entries. But you know what they say...


The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.

The second best time is now.


I love how you have to boldface the emphasis on words, as if I can't read properly Kid Will.

IT'S MAH STYLE BITCH!

The last improv. show was last Monday. I must say, that it was a huge step in my life where I learned that as long as I trusted myself--things turned out okay. On stage, when I began to feel myself panic I had a short conversation with myself:

"Holy shit, I have no clue what I'm going to do in this scene...

Do you trust me?

...yeh..

Then you'll be okay dude. "

Yes, I have those kind of sentimental loner conversations in my head, but I find them many a time quite necessary.

I can't believe I got my shot. I had my chance. I didn't blow it.
It was only five some months ago where I looked up at those improvisers and thought "God, just give me a damn chance, and I promise I wont let you down." It was a stressful process, but everything was worth it in the end. I'm 10x more comfortable in my skin because of it...
I remember the first time I prayed to God.

--Oh please, what the hell is this? Some kind of Ghey Christian blog now?

--No. I'm for a creator, not necessarily a religion.

Now anyway---it was freshman year. I was at a Christian Youth camp, despite my skepticism for Jesus and God and all that 'nonsense.' The Youth leaders instructed us to find a space along the camp, sit down, and pray. I thought "Okay...that's...cool."

So I found my spot...
"Alright...so I guess I'm praying to you God. I'm not sure what I'm gonna say...well. This is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I'm praying for a jacket right now. It's really really cold; and I can't really think about religion when I'm freezing my ass off."

A minute later someone dropped a thick jacket over my head.

Taken aback, I looked to see a Youth leader in a short distance ahead, walking away.

Oh I get it Will Kid, so God is like a genie right!?

No you knuckle fuck, you just need to know what to pray for. These are just small examples of how I've asked God for help and he's given it to me.

Like the summer I asked for a month straight for a girlfriend--and found her--my first great relationship that lasted 6 months.

Golly then Kiddo, do you really rely on God this much?

I'll admit right now that I'm still skeptical of the creator's intervention in our puny lives but I do know that the universe has natural laws that will pull through for you, should you be willing to put in the honest effort. In fact, if God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

Think about it. All are inferior to him; the concept is to serve for the greater purpose. No matter what you think about that--it is a very logical thing to follow, I believe, in the necessity to keep your distance with pride, corruption, and elitism. To help your fellow creatures and most importantly to concentrate on positive thoughts and beliefs.
EXAMPLE.

The religious kid believes in God.

"God, I pray that I will exceed and do very well in the science fair."

Let's edit this thought.

Delete God.
Delete pray.

And you have a positive notion to do well.

It is no original idea that concentrating on positive thoughts will more likely result in a positive outcome.

As opposed to this other kid:
"Geez, I hope I don't suck."

He's already lost by putting forth the negative possibility in his mind.

I strongly believe that this is part of the inner workings of a high hoped religious thought; in an angle that shoves the actual religion aside to dissect the alteriors.

You're full of shit Will Kid, what about the religious wars and the evils of the catholic church and the--
--BLA BLA BLA! I won't go into that kind of detail; I've only been here for eighteen years out of the thousands humanity has been around. Give me a damn brake.

I'll keep making feeble attempts to justify the realities around me...